10 Jokes Only Engineers Will Understand

Who says engineers don’t have a sense of humor?

1. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
 Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
 To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
 To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
    The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
    The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
    The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons.
   Civil engineers build targets.


5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
    The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


7. Knock knock.
   Who's there?
   Interrupting coefficient of friction.
   Interrupting coefficient of fri.... mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (μ)


8. Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


9. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
   He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."


10. A wife asks her husband, a software engineer... "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
   A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
   The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
   He replied, "They had eggs."

posted on tickld on May 10, 2014
http://www.tickld.com/x/10-jokes-only-engineers-will-understand

Disney Dudez

Published by Todrick Hall, June 25, 2013 on YouTube

Todrick Hall collaborates with IM5 in a medley of Disney tunes.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWdFrw5DoJU


Follow @toddyrockstar on instagram and twitter
Follow @IM5band on instagram and twitter

271 Years Before Pantone, an Artist Mixed and Described Every Color Imaginable in an 800-Page Book

by Christopher Jobson
Published on Colossal, May 5, 2014

In 1692 an artist known only as “A. Boogert” sat down to write a book in Dutch about mixing watercolors. Not only would he begin the book with a bit about the use of color in painting, but would go on to explain how to create certain hues and change the tone by adding one, two, or three parts of water. 

[read the article]
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/05/color-book/

Present-Day Devices as Props in Star Trek

Every Star Trek production requires a large number of props to act as technical devices of Starfleet or of aliens. There are custom prop designs for standard phasers, tricorders or communicators. But in most cases there is a need for additional props that either serve a specific purpose in the story or are used as generic futuristic decoration. Several of the props that could be seen are actually slightly modified devices of the 20th/21st century.

[read the article on Ex Astris Scientia]
by Jörg Hillebrand and Bernd Schneider
http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/inconsistencies/present-day-devices.htm

Check out Bernd Schneider’s Star Trek fan site, Ex Astris Scientia, and its many interesting contemplations, observations and discussions.
http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/index.htm

12 Principals of Animation

Created by and Posted by Cento Lodigiani on Vimeo, May 1, 2014
Reported on Wired May 7, 2014

The illusion of life from cento lodigiani on Vimeo.

http://vimeo.com/93206523

The 12 basic principles of animation were developed by the 'old men' of Walt Disney Studios, amongst them Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston, during the 1930s. These principles came as a result of reflection about their practice and through Disney's desire to use animation to express character and personality.

[check out the animated gallery]
http://the12principles.tumblr.com/

Spider-Man, V.2, No.2

Amazing Spider-Man 2 [PG-13]

2014 Columbia

Directed by Marc Webb

Grade: A-

Up-graded from B.

+1: Love story with Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy (Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone).

-1: Story structure.

+1: Swinging through New York City.

Par: Believable fictitious physics.

+1: Franchise serial installment.

[synopsis on IMDB]

Par: Bonus preview of “X-Men: Days of Future Past” nestled within end credits.

The Doritos Origin: Repurposed Garbage from Disneyland

reported by Emma del Valle on Death and Taxes, May 1, 2014
additional report by Robert Sorokanich on Gizmodo, May 4, 2014

Shortly after Disneyland opened in 1955, the founder of Frito-Lay received permission from Walt Disney to open a Mexican-styled restaurant in Frontierland. “Casa de Fritos,” the restaurant, featured Fritos corn chips in many of the dishes and an elaborate animatronic vending machine featuring the “Frito Kid” dispensed bags of the snack with the help of “Klondike” who brought up the bags up from a mineshaft.

One of the salesmen from Alex Foods, the tortilla supplier to the restaurant at the time, noticed stale tortillas in the garbage and gave the kitchen a tip: instead of trashing the stale tortilla, cut them up and fry them.

[read the complete "DeathandTaxes"article]
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/219962/the-doritos-origin-story-repurposed-garbage-from-disneyland/

[read the complete "Gizmodo" article]
http://gizmodo.com/how-doritos-went-from-disneyland-dumpster-to-multi-bill-1571523236