Anne Villeneuve

See the artist's site:

http://annevilleneuve.com/Enfants_en.html

Paula Sanz Caballero

See the artist's work at Traffic Creative Management:

http://www.trafficnyc.com/

It Was Over When...

Tales of romantic dead ends.

Capturing the exact moment you realize a relationship is doomed, doomed, doomed.

http://itwasoverwhen.com/

Admiral Akbar Cereal Kinetic Type

Dialogue from audio of the skit from a "Robot Chicken" episode.

Attitudes

LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE.


John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins..Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'


He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.


Attitude, after all, is everything .


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.


After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


You have two choices now:


01. Delete this


02. Forward it to the people you care about.

Spider Payment

http://www.franksemails.com/pics/spider-payment/

ICU

FInes

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause

Friends

Harassment/ DIscrimination

HMO

Enima

Pacifier

Bird Bath

Saved Bits

Please Sit Down

Dog Conscience

Refrigerator Magnets

Sperm

Shitty Ideas

Priceless

Running stop light = $100.00

DUI = $5000.00

Not wearing a seat belt = $50.00

Putting you & your girlfriends photo on your fake drivers license = PRICELESS

REMEMBER!!

When making a fake ID, attach a picture of yourself only... no matter how much you love your girl.

This is an actual Drivers License from a traffic stop...

Water

SIgns of the Times 2008

Blond in the everglades

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, 'Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, 'Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a hug e 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, 'CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!'

You want change? Try these ideas

by Norma White

[web posted October 21, 2008]
[Amarillo Globe News]

Each presidential candidate is giving his rendition of the changes he wants for America.
Here are a few that I believe all Americans want.

Limit Congress from serving more than two terms. That is all that presidents are allowed.

Stop Congress from voting for their own raises. How did that ever get started?

Stop paying for lawmakers' high-priced insurance premiums. After all, they are only part-time employees. They might pass some law changes on the insurance companies, if they had to find one.

Stop paying lawmakers their full salary after serving just one term, or at retirement. We need to get rid of that pension plan; they've let other companies get rid of theirs. You were lucky to get 40 to 50 percent of your salary after working somewhere for 35 years, but they get 100 percent.

Make Congress pay into the Social Security system. They make laws for it. If they spent some of their own money, they might be interested in making it solvent.

Stop handing out aid to illegal aliens. If we did, then Medicaid and the food stamp program would have enough money to aid the aged and the poor.

Secure our borders.

Stop allowing babies born to illegal aliens in the United States automatic U.S. citizenship.

Stop the abuse of our benevolent welfare system. We feed children free meals three times a day until they are 17. Churches give away good, clean clothes. Companies buy and donate school supplies. Emergency rooms provide health care at taxpayer expense and the food stamp program is buying food at home. What are parents doing for their children?

Have a computer program that cross checks Social Security numbers with fingerprints to stop fraud on many fronts. Use it on voter registration, too.

Stop bailing out mortgage companies and banks that give loans to people who cannot afford them.

Stop companies from paying CEOs and other executives outrageous salaries and bonuses while doing away with workers' pensions.

Stop all unnecessary spending so we will have the money for our nation's security, and to help needy and elderly Americans.

Stop permitting anyone to have a photo with their face covered on driver's licenses.
Whoever wins the presidency will not be able to make these changes.
Only members of Congress can do this, as they are the lawmakers.
I don't believe Congress is interested in changing anything, do you?
Norma White of Amarillo is a retired network engineer for Southwestern Bell

http://www.amarillo.com/stories/102108/opi_opin3.shtml
http://www.amarillo.com/

Sarah Coleman

Check out the illustrator's web site:

http://www.inkymole.com/
http://www.inkymole.com/blog/

Seth Godin: Quieting the Lizard Brain

"The resistance leads people to make suggestions that slow you down, suggestions that water down your idea, suggestions that lead to compromises." - Seth Godin

SETH GODIN, a bestselling author, entrepreneur, and agent of change, targets our "lizard brain" as the source of these primal doubts, and implores us to "thrash at the beginning" of projects so that we can ship on time and on budget.

Watch his 18 min. presentation about quieting the lizard brain by clicking the link below.

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Also read a related article:

Seth Godin: The Truth About Shipping

Articles found on the website The 99%.

Happy Thanksgiving

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time - Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get..

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

The Economy is so Bad...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline and asked were they hiring...

Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************

On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
* *************************

At a Tire Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Vet’s waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************

And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
**********************

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Brief Laugh U Can Use

true story


A Georgia Congressman, Neal Horsely, was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the southern congressman. "How about global warming or universal health care" and he smiles smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know shit?"

Very Good Information

Do NOT use cruise control while driving in the rain.

DO wear a pair of sunglasses.



GOOD VISION IN A DOWNPOUR

How to achieve good vision while driving during a heavy downpour.

We are not sure why it is so effective; just try this method when it rains heavily.

This method was told by a policeman friend who had experienced it and confirmed it.

It is useful, even driving at night. Most of the motorists would turn on high or fastest speed of the wipers during heavy downpour, yet the visibility in front of the windshield is still bad.

In the event you face such a situation, just try your SUNGLASSES (any model will do), and miracle! All of a sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no rain.

Make sure you always have a pair of SUNGLASSES in your car, as you are not only helping yourself to drive safely with good vision, but also might save your friend's life by giving him this information.

Try it yourself and share it with your friends!??? Amazing, you still see the drops on the windshield, but not the sheet of rain falling.

You can see where the rain bounces off the road. It works to eliminate the "blindness" from passing semi's spraying you too. This warning is a good one!


NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON

A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car.

A resident of Kilgore, Texas she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence!

When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on when your car begins to hydroplane and your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.

NOTE: Some vehicles (like the Toyota Sienna Limited XLE) will not allow you to set the cruise control when the windshield wipers are on.