I'm a Man. I Can Fix That!

22 examples of low-tech solutions to everyday problems saved from the defunct ThereIFixedIt.com

Don’t have a spoon?

Seat belt broken?
I can fix that! (Is that a neck brace you have on?)

New TV too big for the old cabinet?
I can fix that!

No bottle opener?
I can fix that!

Room too dark using compact fluorescent?
I can fix that!

Electrical problem?
I can fix that!

Car stereo stolen?
I can fix that!

Bookshelf cracking under the weight?
I can fix that!

No ice chest?
I can fix that!

Can't read the ATM screen?
I can fix that!

Car imported from the wrong country?
I can fix that!

Satellite signal goes out when it rains?
I can fix that!

Electric stove broken &
can’t heat coffee?
I fixed that.

Wiper motor burned out?
I can fix that!

What the HECK!!!

Display rack falling over?
I can fix that!

Car can’t be ordered with the
‘Wood Trim’ option?
I can fix that!

Exhaust pipe dragging?
I can fix that!

Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry?
I can fix that!

Cables falling behind the desk?
(Now this is a Good One!)
I can fix that!

No skate park in town?
I can fix that!

And - last but not least - - - -
Out of diapers? I can fix that!

Solar Freaking Roadways - Why Are We Not Funding This?

posted on Loiter.co
http://loiter.co/v/why-are-we-not-funding-this-2/

Interlocking hexagonal solar panel units with LED’s, which if replace all the roadways, parking lot, and paved public surfaces could supply 3x the nation’s current energy consumption!

[read the indiegogo proposal]
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/solar-roadways

Invented by engineering couple Scott and Julie Brusaw.
http://solarroadways.com/about.shtml

Man Rules

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN.
FINALLY, the guys’ side of the story.

WE ALWAYS HEAR “THE RULES” FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!



1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT’S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. “YES” AND “NO” ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON’T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY “NOTHING,” WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 . YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON’T MIND THAT? IT’S LIKE CAMPING...




PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For

The White House will not be building a Death Star, and respond with a sense of humor.

Reported by Lauren Davis, io9 (Jan. 11, 2013) — Once the official White House petition to secure resources and funding to begin construction on a Death Star passed 25,000 signatures, it rated a response from the White House. First, the bad news: we're not getting a Death Star. There is, however, a bit of good news: the person assigned to responding to the petition has both a firm love of science and a geeky sense of humor.

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
•The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
•Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

— excerpt from the respons from Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget.

 Read the full response at teh White House’s site:
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/secure-resources-and-funding-and-begin-construction-death-star-2016/wlfKzFkN

6 Made Up Nerd Words That Made it to Common Usage, and 8 That Should

by The Mary Sue Staff | 12:32 pm, January 24th

As a geek or nerd, you get introduced to new words all the time! Science fiction and fantasy are practically in the business; not just of creating new place names, which is a given; but also of making new nouns in general, new verbs, and new adjectives. And while some of those concepts might not be particularly useful outside of their fictional setting, others have, over time, been accepted wholly by the English of reality.

Big Brother
Cyberspace
Muggle
Robot
Ansible
Grok
Frak
Utlanning, Framling, Ramen and Varelse
Poozer
Shiny and Ruttin

For explanations and definitions, please read the whole article at The Mary Sue:
http://www.themarysue.com/6-made-up-nerd-words-that-made-it-to-common-usage-and-8-that-should/?pid=623

Nerd Anthem

I’ll Still Be a Geek After Nobody Thinks It’s Chic (The Nerd Anthem)
by Marain Call



http://youtu.be/PLBb58iHiRA

Triumph Visits Occupy Wall Street

http://teamcoco.com/video/triumph-occupy-wall-st

Kari Byron: Mythbuster Mom

Kari will be sending GeekMom regular updates on life as a MythBuster Mom.

“Holy crap. I am a mom!”

That is seriously what I was thinking as the dust settled around me from shooting a .50 caliber rifle. On my first experiment back from maternity leave, I found myself perched on a hill in a rock quarry aiming a huge firearm at a remote-controlled SUV covered in phone books. But how come I still felt like me? I figured once you become a mom, you settled down and let the waistline of your jeans slowly creep north.

— excerpt from Kari’s first entry.

 

http://www.geekmom.com/author/kari-byron/

Not Killer Farts

Police: Carbon Dioxide Led to Death in McDonald’s Bathroom 
An 80-year-old woman who died after being found unconscious in a restroom at an eastern Georgia McDonald's was killed by a lethal dose of carbon dioxide, authorities said Wednesday.

An investigation determined that a "bleed line" on the tank used to carbonate beverages in the McDonald's drink dispenser was "improperly disconnected within the wall cavity," Pooler, Georgia, Police Chief Mark Revenew said.

By the CNN Wire Staff
September 14, 2011 1:38 p.m. EDT

[link: Full article at CNN.com]
http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/09/14/georgia.mcdonalds.death/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Evacuation Instructions For Awkward Situations

by Caldwell Tanner on October 15, 2010
on College Humor

Read more...

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6314304/evacuation-instructions-for-awkward-situations

When Parents Text

This blog is dedicated to the trials and errors that come when a parent handles a cellphone.

Scrolling

• DAD: Why do you keep sending me half finished texts.
• ME: What are you talking about? I’m sending you whole texts.
• DAD: Send me separate texts if they’re long. I can’t see any more than a sentence.
• ME: Dad, scroll down.
• DAD: Oh. 

Chocolate Chip

• Dad: What are you doing?
• Me: I’m at Grandma’s house. What do you need?
• Dad: I want cookies. Chocolate chip. Get them for me. I will pay.
• Me: Ask mom.
• Dad: I did. She won’t. Says no. Get cookies please.
• Me: I will on my way home.
• (10 minutes later)
• Dad: Nevermind. Mom found texts. NO COOKIES! ABORT MISSION!

http://whenparentstext.com/

Sitting - The Most Dangerous Thing You’ll Do All Day

The Most Dangerous Thing You’ll Do All Day
By Bill Phillips and the Editors of Men’s Health
Mar 30, 2011

Scientists at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana analyzed the lifestyles of more than 17,000 men and women over about 13 years, and found that people who sit for most of the day are 54 percent more likely to die of heart attacks.

That’s right—I said 54 percent!

Why?
1. Screws up your posture.
2. Makes you fatter.
3. Causes lower back pain.


Read the complete article:

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/menshealth/most-dangerous-thing-youll-do-all-day

Top 20 Most Common Passwords of All Time

Top 20 most common passwords of all time revealed: ‘123456,’ ‘princess,’ ‘qwerty’
by Joe McKendrick (Jan. 21, 2010)

In the summer of 2009, SmartPlanet colleague John Dodge posted details on the 500 worst passwords of all time.

Now, Imperva has released a list of the 20 most commonly used (and therefore worst) passwords, culled from a hacking incident that took place in December at RockYou.com, a photo-sharing and slideshow site.

Read the full article at SmartPlanet.com

http://www.smartplanet.com/business/blog/business-brains/weakest-passwords-of-all-revealed-in-recent-hacking-incident/4519/

Purdue Team Submits World Record Claim for Rube Goldberg Machine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hj_R-0pVys

Checking in with Goofy

A well done advertisement for the Disney Cruise Lines done like the classic Goofy “how to” animated shorts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No-jADWHZQA

Children Scolding Adults with Paintbrushes

 

Japan’s campaign against smoking hasn’t been about how bad it is for your health, but rather for how  smoking, as inadvertent as it may be, with its lingering smoke, ashes and occasional smoldering butts contributes to bad manners.

Fortunately, unintended humor arises when translated into English.

You can find a lot of examples if you web search “Japan smoking manners,” but here is a large gallery to get you started:

http://current.com/15m5a4c

Why the Office Is the Worst Place to Work

(CNN) -- Companies spend billions on rent, offices, and office equipment so their employees will have a great place to work.

However, when you ask people where they go when they really need to get something done, you'll rarely hear them say it's the office.

If you ask, you'll usually get one of three kinds of responses: A place, a moving object, or a time.

They'll say their house, their back porch, an extra bedroom they've converted into a home office, a library, the coffee shop down the street, the basement. Or they'll say their car, or a train, or a plane -- basically, during their commute. Or they'll say really early in the morning, really late at night, or on the weekend. In other words, when no one else is around to bother them.


Read the whole article and view the video of the seminar by Jason Fried at CNN.com
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/12/05/fried.office.work/index.html?hpt=C2
by Jason Fried, special to CNN
Dec. 5, 2010

Awesome Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.


Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Mad About 2010

“Today we are going to take a few moments to recognize "The 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things 2010" as seen through the eyes of "The Usual Gang of Idiots" at Mad Magazine, which year after year proves it is more relevant than most news magazines.”

Read the whole article at the Brattlebro Reformer:


http://www.reformer.com/reformereditorials/ci_16925112

Our Valued Customers

SEE who shops at the comic book store and HEAR what they're saying.

This site depicts REAL things said to me (or at least near me) by customers in the comic book shop that I work in. These are real people. This is what they look like and this is something that they actually said.

http://ourvaluedcustomers.blogspot.com/