Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really? Ya think?---------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!---------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!---------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
'good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!---------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!---------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!---------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!---------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!---------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!---------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?Oklahoma's new construction program!---------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!---------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!---------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That' s what he gets for eating those beans!---------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?---------------------------------------------
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!---------------------------------------------
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!---------------------------------------------
And the winner is ....Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?---------------------------------------------