Monday, November 29, 2010
Pomplamoose - Beat It
Pomplamoose performs Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”.
Pomplamoose appear in recent Hyundai holiday television commercial ads.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meT2eqgDjiM&feature=channel
Finally, a Mobile Phone for Senoirs
At Last, a Mobile Phone for Seniors!
You REALLY have to be OLD to appreciate THIS joke.
You REALLY have to be OLD to appreciate THIS joke.
40 Years of Marriage
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Governments?
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get only 2 Qts. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine and then have sex.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are, or care.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get only 2 Qts. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine and then have sex.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are, or care.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
Puns
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One that said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a-head.”
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. W hen cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One that said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a-head.”
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. W hen cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tangled
Tangled [PG]
Disney (2010)
Grade: B
(Adjustment for the balance between modern humor and classic story telling: +1;
The Probable Impossible (cartoon physics): +1;
Songs: par;
Justifiable homicide: +1;
Magic effects of magic: -1)
Final Grade: A-
Adjustment for 3-D: -1
Final 3-D Grade: B+
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Huan Tran
Keeping Communications Snag Free
Red Riding Hood
Crabby Boss Day
http://www.sketchmotel.com/huan/huan.asp?nav=2&illu=huan&Image=10
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Our Valued Customers
SEE who shops at the comic book store and HEAR what they're saying.
This site depicts REAL things said to me (or at least near me) by customers in the comic book shop that I work in. These are real people. This is what they look like and this is something that they actually said.
http://ourvaluedcustomers.blogspot.com/
Skyline
Skyline [PG-13]
Rogue Pictures (2010)
Grade: C
(Adjustment for story: par;
Alien creature and vehicle design: +1;
Fifteen minutes of character backstory: -1;
Dog fight: par;
RUN!: +1)
Final Grade: C+
Megamind
Megamind [PG]
Dreamworks (2010)
Grade: B
(Adjustment for actual story compared to that suggested in the commercial ads: +1;
Minion (David Cross): +1;
Dreamworks Animation’s character designs: -1;
Sountdtrack: par;
“Forget Me Stick”: +1)
Final Grade: A-
Sunday, November 14, 2010
James Corbett - sculptor
Auto Parts Art - Clever people everywhere but this is an Australian with an eye for the unusual!
These items below were all fabricated from junked 1950 and 1960 automobile parts by a gentleman in Australia.
Check out all the Spark Plugs!
James Corbett uses remnants of old cars of the 1950s and ’60s.
This is the man that converts scrapped parts of cars into sculptures worth thousands of dollars. The 46-year-old Australian artist James Corbett, creates these sculptures using salvaged old car parts.
One of the pieces, a ram made from spark plugs, sold for a whopping $23,000
His sculptures are made of gears, spark plugs, exhausts, radiators, anything that the artist can salvage.
After spending weeks dedicated to locate suitable pieces, James meticulously cleans every part and welds them together.
He said: “I was working in a warehouse of scrap and a guy I know, that races stock cars, showed me a Trophy winner, ‘Fact with levers of change.’ I looked at it and I thought that I could do a much better job so I started making my own sculptures.”
“After a period of time, people began to become more and more into what I was doing and now what do I with my life, is a dream come to reality.”
“On average, each piece takes a little over two weeks of work, but the larger pieces can take much longer,” he says.
Corbett lives in Ningi, Queensland, Australia with his wife Jodie.
Sculptures using pieces of old cars; the French and British cars are James’ favorites to retrieve.
James says that welding of the parts, and the construction of the sculpture is not what consumes most time of the artist.
“Often the longest part of the process is finding old parts suitable for sculpture.”
The sculptor is exhibiting his work in the Gallery of John Davies in Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire, England, until December 19.
“My two favorite pieces that I’ve created for this exhibition are the ram and the wild boar,” he says.
http://www.jamescorbettart.com/
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