Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
What Makes us Laugh in 2009
Hellllloooo ‘Cleveland’!
“The Cleveland Show” premieres Sunday at 8:30 p.m. on Fox. The show follows the titular “Family Guy” neighbor as he moves to Virginia and marries. Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim manager of programming Nick Weidenfeld calls it “Seth MacFar-lane’s reign over all of animation. Successful animated shows have created a new Ameri-can vernacular.”
1: The ‘Family Guy’ effect
Sure, “The Simpsons” was the first modern animated series to secure a foothold in primetime and pop culture as a whole. But the pacing of Seth MacFarlane’s “Family Guy” — which scored a nearly unprecedented Emmy nomination for best comedy this year and bore the highly anticipated “The Cleveland Show” — changed the game for the industry.
“‘Family Guy’ changed the way in which an audience reacts to joke-telling,” says Adult Swim manager of programming Nick Weidenfeld. “It has to happen so quickly. You have to have so many jokes per minute. Cutaway, cutaway, cutaway. It’s the same with what ‘The Simpsons’ had done — it’s just ’roided up.”
K.P. Anderson, head writer and executive producer for E!’s “The Soup,” agrees. “‘The Family Guy’ is a quintessential show for handling everything with blistering accuracy but moving off of it so fast that nobody gets crushed by what they did,” he says.
2: The reality effect
The omnipresence of reality TV has changed the forum in which we find humor. When asked what he finds funny, “Saturday Night Live” cast member Kenan Thompson first cites the plethora of VH1 reality shows.
“Just the looks of those people are funny,” Thompson says. “I think it’s all Flavor Flav’s fault.”
“You’re going to see more shows like ‘The Office,’ which is based on a reality sensibility,” says Cherie Kerr, a founding member of seminal L.A. improv group the Groundlings. “In terms of the tenor, I think what’s changed is that people have this big voyeurism going on. They like to see things that they can really make fun of and pick on.”
3: The Internet effect
The speed at which news, jokes, videos and all other things pop culture spread has led comedians and writers to adapt to a quicker turnaround for jokes.
“Jimmy Fallon and Conan O’Brien are important voices in the mainstream now because they’re reflecting a generational shift,” says Todd Gold, managing editor of entertainment portal
Fancast.com. “Their humor is deeply ironic and filled with the pop culture references that make sense to a generation who is consuming media all day.”
It’s a major shift from the previous business model that always looked ahead to syndication.
“Years ago, people would say you can’t do that because things live on in video and on reruns, and in 10 years you don’t want people to watch something that’s commenting on a fad,” says Reader’s Digest humor editor Andy Simmons.
But as Anderson of “The Soup” says, “Everything’s a snack pack these days. You eat it, you throw it away.”
Metro New York, newspaper
http://www.ny.metro.us/us/article/2009/09/25/05/3337-82/index.xml
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
How to Lock Your Car and Why
I locked my car --- as I walked away I heard my car door unlock I went back and locked my car again three times. I looked around and there were two guys sitting in a car in the fire lane next to the store. When I looked straight at them they did not unlock my car again.
How to lock your car safely
The police say that there is a device that robbers are using now to clone your security code when you lock your doors on your car using your key-chain locking device.
They sit a distance away and watch for their next victim. They know you are going inside of the store, restaurant, or bathroom and have a few minutes to steal and run. The police say to manually lock your car door-by hitting the lock button inside the car, that way if there is someone sitting in a parking lot watching for their next victim it will not be you.
When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting...it does not send the security code, but if you walk away and use the door lock on your key chain - it sends the code through the airwaves where it can be stolen. Something totally new to us...and real.
Be aware of this and please pass this note on...look how many times we all lock our doors with our remote...just to be sure we remembered to lock them....and bingo someone has our code...and whatever was in the car....can be stolen.
Snopes Approved.
Please share with everyone you know.... Good information!!!
Circle of Compassion
Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace.
Dogs in Heaven
If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
UPS Airlines Gripe Sheets
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
--------------------
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
--------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
--------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
--------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
--------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
--------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
--------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
--------------------
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
--------------------
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
--------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
--------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
--------------------
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
--------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
--------------------
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Disorder in The Court
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would
you like to rephrase that?
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
----------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
Jalapenos
Life isn't like a box of chocolates.
It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today might burn you tomorrow.
Wasp Spray
You no longer need to keep your .45 or AK-47 sitting out on the coffee table... a can of wasp spray will do!
A receptionist in a church in a high-risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead. The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. You could also keep it in your car and it's perfectly legal.
Watch a news video about it here:
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=6650350
On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self-defense experts have a tip that could save your life.
Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door. Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."
Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades. It's also one he wants everyone to hear.
Over the weekend someone broke into the Austin Street home of 83-year-old Cecilia Sobecki. The suspect robbed and beat Sobecki, breaking her hip and wrist. Sunday, Sobecki died. The suspect is still on the loose. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
For Those Who Thought They Knew Everything
For those who thought they knew everything,
here's a refresher course...
********************
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
Blood plasma.
********************
No piece of paper can be folded in half
more than seven (7) times.
********************
Donkeys kill more people annually
than plane crashes.
********************
You burn more calories sleeping
than you do watching television.
********************
Oak trees do not produce acorns
until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
********************
The first product to have a bar code
was Wrigley's gum.
********************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
********************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987
by eliminating one (1) olive
from each salad served in first-class.
********************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
********************
Apples, not caffeine,
are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
********************
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN!
********************
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first 'Marlboro Man.'
********************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
********************
PEARLS MELT
IN VINEGAR!
********************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
********************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
but, not downstairs.
********************
A duck's quack doesn't echo,
and no one knows why.
********************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
********************
Richard Millhouse Nixon
was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word 'criminal.'
The second?
William Jefferson Clinton
********************
And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts..
(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
********************
Now you know everything!
Jesus Is Watching You
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables.
He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you"!
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh
His dizzy aunt…
… Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes…
… Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store…
… Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia…
… U Gogh
His magician uncle…
… Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin…
… A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother…
… Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach…
… Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle…
… Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt…
… Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle…
… Flaming Gogh
The fruit loving cousin…
… Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking…
… Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew…
… Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco…
… Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV…
… Winnie Bay Gogh
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Packaging of the World
Creative Package Design Archive & Gallery
"Packaging of the World" is a packaging design archive showcasing the best, most interesting and creative packaging work worldwide. Started in early 2008, it's purpose then is just my personal reference blog but till now we are having thousands of visitors coming in to this blog everyday.
Milli shoe box
Crown wall paints
Hattomonkey milk cartons
http://www.packagingoftheworld.com/
"Packaging of the World" is a packaging design archive showcasing the best, most interesting and creative packaging work worldwide. Started in early 2008, it's purpose then is just my personal reference blog but till now we are having thousands of visitors coming in to this blog everyday.
Milli shoe box
Crown wall paints
Hattomonkey milk cartons
http://www.packagingoftheworld.com/
The Importance of Walking
1) Walking 20 minutes can add to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months on a nursing home at $7000 per month.
2) My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60…
Now he's 97 years old... and we haven't a clue where the hell he is.
3) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4) The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5) I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
6) I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. ....apparently you have to actually go there.
7) Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8) I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9) The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
11) I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......
just getting over the hill was enough.
12) We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our skulls. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
You could run this over to your friends But just e-mail it to them -- eh !
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months on a nursing home at $7000 per month.
2) My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60…
Now he's 97 years old... and we haven't a clue where the hell he is.
3) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4) The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5) I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
6) I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. ....apparently you have to actually go there.
7) Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8) I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9) The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
11) I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......
just getting over the hill was enough.
12) We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our skulls. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
You could run this over to your friends But just e-mail it to them -- eh !
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